Stop Fighting

You belong nowhere
No one loves you
Why would they
I mean
Look at you
With those scars
The weird colors on your skin
Eww look at your moles

The weight you carry
Is way to much
From your stomach
To your shoulders

Look at your feet
They aren’t even cute

How can one love you
Let alone like you
All they see is disgust

No one wants you
Do you even have a name

Stop fighting
You pathetic little thing
You are weak
Unwanted
Uncared for

You talk
They laugh
Can’t you hear them
They are at you
Hysterically

Give up
You know you want too

The Crow

The crow flies overs head
Caws escape the mouth
Looking for a place to land

Finds a naked tree
With no green
Little life left
Barely breathing

The crow swoops down
Lands with grace
Looking down
Sees me

Looking up
Staring and wondering
Thinking
What does this bird see

Sky turns red with anger
The brilliant blue dissipates
Air turns crisp almost cold

Not worthy
Too much
Little
Needy
Clingy

These words get louder
I squat down
Hands over my ears
Looking up
The crow laughing

Lots of baggage
Not good enough
No one wants you

I shake my head
As the sounds are louder
My press my ears harder
Trying to tune out
The crow is too loud

Looking up
Sky is still red
The tree losing its last breathe
I’m loosing my mind

Another shape
Another form
Head back down
Falling on me knees
Not moving
Protecting my head

This can’t last
Will it?

The Demon – TW

Someone has awoken you
From a deep slumber
You crawl out of your cage
Breathing fire
Smelling the air
Tasting the scents
Touching the vibrations
Hearing the voices calling

The smell in the air is heavy
Rust maybe iron
The taste of red fills you
Feeling the heartbeat under your hands
Hearing the voices telling you to stop

Yet here you sit
At the top of your cage
Waiting
For the right moment to attack
There for eternity
Awaiting for the moment

The Signature

Written: 6/6/2017

i sat there reading the paper
the one that came in the mail
i glanced at my daughter
wondering if this was real

i hear the knock at the door
i stand there as I sign the paper
closing the door
with my cheeks stinging

i look at the stack of papers in my hand
this can’t be happening
with just a signature

that knock on the door
crushed me
yet, rage filled me
my life i knew was gone
just like that
with just a signature

Which Side -TW

Written: 12/10/2018

I stand there at the door
With my hand hand pressed against the cold knob
Listening and looking
Trying to figure out which side I’m on

I feel the cold hands on my neck
The shadow fingers scraping my shoulders
The hairs at the base stand up
For I know which side

I feel the coldness wrapped around my feet
As I stand there looking at the door
Feeling the warmth get drained from me
A tug at my feet

I grab onto the door
As I begin to get pulled back
My fingernails scraping the floor
As I reach for the threshold

The shadows are pulling me in
Calling my name
I scream for help
As I continue to scratch the floor
“Someone please help me…
Save me.. before it’s to late”

Demon Fight -TW

I feel you creeping in
As my body tries to resist
The heaving breathing
Outstretched arms
Looking

The demon have been awaken
Trying to quiet him
He has been locked up
Is ready for release

The demon tries to surface
As the body tries to fight
The breathing gets heavier
The fight more pronounced

The demon won’t win
Sure wants battle
It’s been awoken
By others
Wants to feed

The head tossed back
Cackling
Waiting
For the right time

With each breath
I feel the attack
On the body
Fighting the demon

Each clank of the sword
Each fiery breath the demon puts out
My body fights

Stinging in the chest
The breath so hard to catch
He tries hard to win
My body just won’t let him

I’m Not Afraid -TW

I see you sitting here looking at me
Asking me if I’m afraid
I respond “no”
You ask again
The answers still the same

You sitting on top of me hand on my throat
My breath Barry hanging
You becoming angry

As you ask me again
You hope my answer changes
I tell you again no.
More firmer
Now with a growl
You begin to squeeze

I begin to freeze
Not letting you you
Yet, you ask again
My answer never waivers
You squeeze tighter than the last

I grab for your hand
Trying to pull you away
You’re choking me to hard
You muster again the same question
I respond the same

This time as you squeeze as I say no
I’m pulling at your hands
You keep squeezing

Why can’t I hear anything
I don’t understand

Blackness
Nothing but blackness

No sound
No sight

A shrill scream is escaping my mouth

I hear sound
No sight

Finally, I have sight
You let go
You sit back

I go in for comfort
You push me away

Why?

I barely hear you say “ I could have killed you”

My only thought was you didn’t

One Last Time

You know it’s almost been a year?
A year ago I left my ring on your table.
I placed my hand over my ring one last time.
Not wanting to go.
This is what you wanted.
I slowly gathered my things,
Stood by the front door, and I took one last look.

Breathing in the smell of you
Hearing your voice one last time
Seeing the memories we had made for almost two years.
Not wanting to leave.

Tears began to stream down my face
As I took the door and closed it behind me
Sitting in my car and taking another look
Wishing this was a dream

Taking in the smells
Sounds
Sights
Everything one last time

For I knew this was it.
You were not coming back to me
Your mind was made up
And we were through

I took one last look before I made my turn
The tears began to fall harder
I love you always
I already miss you

Invisible

I posted a pic
I got laughed at
I thought it was sexy and cute
They thought I was a joke

I made a comment
Talked over
Made another
Invisible
Made another
Do you even hear me?

Hey you
Yes you, let’s meet
Who are you?
I said let’s meet
But who are you
They repeat it again and again and again
I said no I scream

Do you really see me
Do you hear me
Am I really just a joke

Today they said what’s wrong
I tried to tell them
I’m overreacting
I’m told the person I’m mad at did nothing wrong
But did you hear or see the violation?
They did nothing wrong

I tried to help you
I tried to be a friend
“Did you hear something?”
“Oh, it’s nothing”
I tried again to help
Make a comment and help
Nothing

Do you not see me here
Do you not hear me
Am I someone to really laugh at

Again I try and talk
Nothing
I don’t exist
I’m nothing
I’m invisible to your world
For I’m different to your reality

Did you hear me
Did you see me
Why, oh why did you laugh today

Make Me

“Make me” I say
With irritation
In hopes you hear
That I’m crying out
That I want you here
Hear me as I taunt you
With my look and my voice

The feel of your hand
Against my throat
On my waist
Even my ass
As I say again “make me”
This time with more feeling than the last

Don’t you see
All I want is you
For you to hear me
For you to see me
For you to love me

“Make me”
Are the words that get your attention
To reach you
Where you love it most
For you to hear me
Love me
Call me yours