Once Again

Once again my trust is broke

Once again no doesn’t work

Once again the push of the hands don’t stop

Once again I cry for help

Once again I broke beyond words

Into a thousand pieces

Once again I sat and cried

Feeling nothing but betrayal

Once again I was lied too

Once again I see your face

Once again I want the blood to pour down

Once again I’m fighting

Just to survive another day

Once again I am lost and unsafe

Once again I’ll find a way

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Broken Glass

I stood there in your arms

As I broke in front of you

The glass was hit with a wrecking ball

Shattered the moment I saw you

Falling to the ground

Waiting to be picked up

I fell to the ground

Since I couldn’t stand no more

My back against the car

My ass on the gravel

I look around

I see the glass

With the reflections of that night

As I stare at them trying to figure it out

What just happened

As I sat there trying to process

As you look at me wondering

I utter some words

With no sound behind them

Yet you knew almost the moment I saw you

You’re watching the last bit fall

As I look at you

The last piece of glass

Shattered as it fell

You were there

I went to you for safety

I didn’t want to leave

I hugged you so tight

With no more grip left

I stood there as you were holding me

As I was holding myself up

I felt my knees begin to buckle

Cause I couldn’t stand the pain

I fell to the ground with nothing left

Fell into a state of shock

As I said the words out loud

“I think I was just raped”

Once again I utter those words

From someone I trusted

Violated me and used me

Tears steam down as I no longer see you

You are there but you’re not

You’re just a dream I want to wake up from

You sat there as you tried to put the pieces together

Listened with a broken heart

Helpless and unsure

What just happened

I broke in front of you

I fell into a million pieces

The glass just laid there

With reflections of the night

You were there

Holding me up

As the glass fell to the ground

Trying hard

Not to cry and hold me so tenderly

Choose One

I blankly stare in the darkness

The voices telling me how to do it

Knives or pills

Just choose one

As they argue which is best

Knives are fun

The sharpness on the skin

The blade slicing the skin

The blood slowly leaving

Dripping

Pills are slow

Not nearly as messy

The slow you’re heart

Put you to sleep

Maybe do both

Just to make sure

You don’t want survive

It sure doesn’t matter

Just choose one

Maybe both

No matter what

You will lose

Worthless

Go on do it

Take the pleasure you so desire

No one cares

Not about you

You are worthless

You are selfish

No one loves you

Nor do they care

You think of no one

You are so lazy

Everyone knows

Why not you

Go on

You know you want to

Pick me up

You’ll enjoy me

You are beyond worthless

They look and laugh

No one likes you

Not like I do

Go on

You piece of shit

Pick me up

Leave this world

No one will care

Change

I should change

Even if it’s just for you

Hide everything about me

I want you happy

I want to please you

Beyond words

Sexually

And non

You think your not good enough

I fear I’m not

Yet I love you

More than words

I wish I wasn’t me

The lifestyle behind me

Yet it’s in me

As much as it’s not in you

I want you

All of you

Wish you knew the depth

Maybe one day

You’ll see

I want you

Only you

When You Are Gone

I sit off and I stare

Looking at what is to come

Wondering where my life went

Seeing where it goes

A zombie sitting here

Waiting for you

Listening for the phone

In hopes you call

My phone doesn’t ring

Nor does it buzz

I sit here missing you

Craving your voice

Your invisible touch

Even your love