Go on do it

Take the pleasure you so desire

No one cares

Not about you

You are worthless

You are selfish

No one loves you

Nor do they care

You think of no one

You are so lazy

Everyone knows

Why not you

Go on

You know you want to

Pick me up

You’ll enjoy me

You are beyond worthless

They look and laugh

No one likes you

Not like I do

Go on

You piece of shit

Pick me up

Leave this world

No one will care



I should change

Even if it’s just for you

Hide everything about me

I want you happy

I want to please you

Beyond words


And non

You think your not good enough

I fear I’m not

Yet I love you

More than words

I wish I wasn’t me

The lifestyle behind me

Yet it’s in me

As much as it’s not in you

I want you

All of you

Wish you knew the depth

Maybe one day

You’ll see

I want you

Only you

When You Are Gone

I sit off and I stare

Looking at what is to come

Wondering where my life went

Seeing where it goes

A zombie sitting here

Waiting for you

Listening for the phone

In hopes you call

My phone doesn’t ring

Nor does it buzz

I sit here missing you

Craving your voice

Your invisible touch

Even your love

Crave Me

To Crave: to long for; want greatly; desire eagerly:

When I first entered into the lifestyle I never understood the saying “I crave him.” What did that mean? You crave your Dom? How do you crave your Dom? If they were a Master it seemed the crave to be stronger and deeper. When you are a little, like I am, craving their Daddy. What does that feel like? How do you know you crave someone so much? It wasn’t until recently that I figured this out.

I have had interacted with several Doms along my journey in this lifestyle. I have come across a lot of fakes. It wasn’t until I came across SJ that I realized what a Dom was suppose to be. Learning what the word crave really meant. Learning what that really feels like. No matter how I try to explain it, it won’t make sense until you experience it.

Daddy said to me today “I want you to crave me.” I sat there and I said “I do.” When I hear his voice my heart stops and I melt. The sound of his voice makes my insides tingle. No matter how mad or upset I am that day. His voice brings me back. I need to hear his voice everyday and know that I am doing good as his sub. I need to hear him with his Daddy’s voice when I need that nurturing. I need that Dom voice when I know I need that extra push of encouragement.

I crave his touch. I feel him around me all the time. Even though we do not see each other everyday, he is here. His collar around my neck as he has placed it. His touch on my face as he looks at me and reminds me how much I am HIS queen and HIS love. His touch makes me quiver as he moves his hand along. Everyday I long to have that touch again.

Do you crave me? I crave for your presence even if a word is not said. No touch is felt. Knowing he is here is all I need. I crave that attention he shows me. Even if nothing is said or done that day. I crave everything about him. I miss him when I do not talk to him. I miss him when I do not see him. I miss him when I don’t have his attention.

Learning this has been the most amazing feeling. To crave someone so much is the most amazing feeling. As a sub craving their Dom has been the best turn on in every aspect. Not even sexually. Yes, it can be a turn on sexually too. giggles It’s not always that way.. 🙂 If you are luck enough to crave your sub or your Dom as much as I do then you got something special.

No Man



No man will want you

You’re too much

Even too difficult


Why would they want you

It’s all about you

You don’t care about others

You think the world is yours


You expect me to drop

All I’m doing

You are too needy

So stop being you

Can’t you see


How worthless you are

How much attention you seek

Why be you?


No man will want you

For none will care

Sure won’t put up with you

No matter how hard you try


Your Words

Your voice goes deeper


As you know what you are doing

Each word hits me


As I begin to move

The words make me squirm

As details come to mind

You touching me in places

No man has touched


The mental game you give

Makes me very wet

Wanting and craving more


Thinking what else

Your tone changes again

As you move down to my soul

Making me moan

Making me cum


Your fingers never touch me

As your words are just those

Invisible fingers torturing me

As I cum even more


Oh please stop

For just a moment

So I can catch my breath


One more word

A punch to my drive

Cum again

Harder than before




I have had a few people ask me recently “What is subspace like for you?” It’s so many things. It really depends on how tired I am. What kind of a day I had. If I have things on my mind since I am a mom and a wife. There are so many things that will play into factor about my subspace. This is my point of view and what happens to me. Everyone is different. Everyone’s triggers are going to be different.

How do you go in subspace? I go into subspace one of two ways. I may discover other ways. Right now these are the two ways to get me to go into subspace. Apply pressure on my throat or pull my hair. You just can’t half ass it. If you do that then there is no way I can go into it. It has to be done just right. The timing the feeling everything needs to be right for me to go in.

How do you know you are going in? I know I am slipping into subspace when I start to go numb. My body gets really relaxed. My mind goes very fuzzy like I am floating in clouds. It’s like I am almost in a sleep state. I don’t feel much of anything or really hear much of anything going on.

What happens while in subspace? Once I am in subspace I am just lying there or sitting there. Depending on what is being done. If I do not go in deep I can still function some. I become very subby and less bratty. When I go in deep that can a problem. If I am really tired I can go in very easy. I can go in really deep. I get relaxed way to fast. I can’t hold my head up. If I try I become dizzy in subspace. I have learned if you try to bring me out of subspace it’s very hard to do. There isn’t any one thing that can bring me out of subspace. We are still working on that. Right now it’s best to let me sleep it off. If I don’t sleep it off and I have to do something then I can’t stand up. I am very dizzy. To get me from staying dizzy I am learning I need water to drink. So, it’s extremely important to have something there to help you get your baring. The few times I have gone in and people have tried to talk to me I do NOT remember the conversations. I don’t remember a lot of what happens to me or said to me in subspace. Which is a very dangerous spot for me to be in. It’s extremely important when you go into subspace you are with someone you trust 100%.

Have you sub dropped? I believe I have. When I do not get enough aftercare after being in subspace I can. I have been known to feel very off the next day and trying to remember what happened. Trying to figure out what was going on. So, I will ask questions and millions of them until I can piece the event together. Sub drops don’t happen often with me. I normally do get enough aftercare after a scene. Even after I have gotten out of subspace. Subspace is fun to be in. Just make sure you trust the person you are with. Make sure you have your aftercare kit bag with you. *see article Sub-drop